My Dearest Child

I lost you once
In a black spot on a screen,
In dark blood and clots of tissue,
In the somber apologies of loved ones.

They said it wasn't meant to be,
They said God had a plan,
They said you were my angel looking down,
They said I gave you all the love you needed.

My dearest child,
They were so very wrong.

Nobody meant to lose you,
God never planned for me to have to say goodbye.
I don't need another angel above,
You don't need wings to fly.
I've got so much more love to give--
And it all belongs to you.

I'm sorry your first form missed the mark.
I'm sorry it wasn't worthy of carrying such a blessing.
But my dearest child,
Rest in God's gentle arms,
Sleep in the cradle of His love,
Listen to the angels' lullabies,
And wait...

For we are not done yet.

We will make you a stronger cocoon,
God will weave your beautiful soul into it,
And when the time is right you'll fly
Straight into our arms
As it is meant to be.

We are meant to be.


I've got so much more love to give.

It all belongs to you.

Hate List

Sarah LaFell
James McKinley
Juan Morales
Paula Anderson
Bullets
Bullets
Bullets
Respect
Change
Mr. Maloney
Andy Wilson
Bullets
Bullets
Status
Image
Tears
Anyone
Bullets
Strength
Fear
Everyone
Bullets
Everyone
Bullets
Everyone
Bullets
Numb
Silence
Nothing

Bullet.

The Heaviness of Motherhood

A tiny hand placed
Gently on my beating heart
The weight of my world.

Here Today (Newtown, CT)

She is two days old
She is asleep in my arms
I breathe in the scent of spit up, baby powder, and brand new love.

She is four years old
And I am kissing her knee
Scratched up by a concrete monster
I tell her how brave she is.

She is thirteen years old
She is crying in the bathroom
I am gently explaining how to use a tampon
So she can still attend the pool party.

She is twenty-two years old
I am dabbing at tears of pride
As she gives a speech and receives a degree
One step closer to changing the world.

She is five years old
She is lying bloodied on the tiled floor
I am not there to hold her, to kiss her wounds, to say that it's ok to cry...

Who will change the world now?

Time Awaits You

*This poem was written for a friend's baby shower. If you are interested in having a personalized poem written for your own special occasion, please email me: shaeopoetry@gmail.com.*


All time slows down as time draws near
For our sweet angel to appear
We wait with excitement and smiles too
Until we meet our blessing--YOU!

And precious dear, when you arrive
We won't alone be filled with pride
For today our loved ones have showered still
More joy for you than time could fill!

So darling of mine, prepare for tons
Of joy and laughter, love and hugs
For the one holding this poem now
Will love you long as time allows.